Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Meandering in a Sea of Zen Strangeness

My Tarot-scope for today seems very fitting with how I'm feeling...

Your emotional world may collapse, and everyone else may be running around in all directions, but you'll stay cool today, dear Kathryn Wheeler. The influence of Temperance and the Tower is helping you to see your surroundings clearly, with a certain detachment that some may take for contempt. Reassure them. It doesn't mean you're indifferent, just that you have confidence in the future and the happiness to come. If you go into work today, this should be a relaxing day with nothing to fear. Protected by Justice and Temperance, everything goes smoothly today. You even get the chance to resolve a few problems that have crept up recently. You're adopting very much a Zen attitude. In fact you appear as calm the surface of a lake on a day without any wind.

It definitely feels like one of those contemmplative days to me and I'm sure that if there were some roses on my journey to or from work then I would stop to smell them.

I've got an easy night tonight. Last night, Monday (and all Mondays), was manic. I go to work as normal but when I get home at around 7pm I have to go straight out again to teach piano. I dont mind it. In fact I actually enjoy it, except my first student is a 6 year old boy who just wont sit still!! My second student is a 13 year old girl and she's doing really well and we had quite a laugh last night.. she just couldn't seem to remember to play b-flat and e-flat.. I had to keep prompting her in almost every bar and it became so silly it was funny. After the lesson I had to stop by Sainsburys to get food to feed my man and I didn't get home until 10.20pm. Sux.

But anyway... tonight. Tonight will be nice. We usually go out to the pub on Tuesdays, but Martin's friend Andy gets a bit grumpy that I always turn up coz he wants to sit with Martin by himself so they can oggle women and talk about cars and football without having my cynical comments interrupt them. Suits me to a tea, but it would mean I have to drive Martin to the pub and pick him up. Pain in the arse, I say! But, Martin has cancelled tonight, so he's going to lock himself in the bedroom and revise for his exams and keep out of my hair. I'm going to just chill out with our brand new 32" Sony Bravia fucken brilliant tv! Its like having a fucken cinema in ya front room! I never realised how much I could love an inanimate object. I can even plug the computer into it! (Although the cord isn't long enough to reach the couch where the computer sits, so I have to unplug the internet cords and put the computer next to the tv... but at least we can watch all the downloads and stuff on the big screen.. I just need to get another cord to allow sound from the computer to run through the tv, then we're totally set. Or I could just transfer stuff onto the new DVD-RW discs I bought. Damn, so much to do).

BUT... I will also be getting my arse on the treadmill for half an hour, and will definitely spend at least one whole hour on writing! I havent written one single word in about 2 months. Well, thats not true.. I've edited a bit, but I haven't really progressed. So I am going to make sure I get at least one chapter done tonight!


This week is looking to be pretty busy. Tomorrow (Wed) we're going to TGI Fridays, coz its been way too long since I've had those luscious Jack Daniels glazed ribs..mmmmmmmmm... and then Thursday its the work quiz night, then Friday I'm off to the pub with my longtime mate Amy!

So... blah blah blah... and blah blah blah....

I'm so full of shit.

Shit shittety shit. Hehe.

I'm thinking I might change my profile photo again. I feel vain with the one I put up... or is that spelled 'vane'.. hmm.. nope, I think I got it right the first time.

Note to self - Fucking learn grammar, spelling and damn sentence structury stuff more and get good at the "write' thing and words and stuff . !

I soooo dont want lunchtime to end.. I just dont want to go back to work. There's nothing to dooooooo. *sigh* ...I am resigned to the fact that my afternoon is going to be spent reading Cosmopolitan magazine.. the self-loving glossy book of shite for young & stupid girls. Ugh. I dont know if I can bear it. Perhaps I should write my own magazine that doesn't have that perky voice to it and article titles such as 10 Ways To Win Back Your Man, or 3 Steps To The New Sassy You. BLAAAAGH!! It makes me sick.

At this point I must say - I only read it for the pictures of the shoes!

Saturday, February 24, 2007


Thought it was about time I changed my profile photo.

So here's the new one. It was taken when I did a stint of nude photography (and 'No' I'm not going to show any of the nude shots that were taken)...

Thursday, February 22, 2007

New Telly!

I'm buying a new TV and DVD player tomorrow!!


We wrote to our bank about two of our accounts that were charged up the arse for going over the overdraft limit (when I wasn't working, before I was married and when I didn't have a visa that allowed me to work. Fucken bullshit visa crap!), and we asked them to give us our £1,400 in charges back.

Martin said 'dont bother', but I didn't want to let it rest and sent them off anyway. Lo and behold we got letters back offering us money in settlement. They didn't even try to fight. Hehehe. So we got back about £1,000!!!

Bloody brilliant!

I got the template of the letters from AOL somewhere. THANK YOU to whoever it was that thunk it up!

So, we're going to splurge on a new flat screen tv that is just ooozing inches. We're also going to get a DVD player, coz our current one groans and moans whenever we put in a DVD. It rarely plays anything now. Damn thing.

I'm soooo looking forward to Saturday night! If we get the TV and stuff delivered in time then we're going to set it up, move the coffee table out of the way, download any stuff we've got to watch off the computer onto CDs (or DVD's I spose!) and camp out in the living room for the night! Cant wait.

Note to self: Buy more Jack Daniels and lots of chocolate. Popcorn too!

Words Just Wont Come

I'm feeling a little drab today.
So I thought I'd try to mix up my post with odd changes to the the font!

But I am no expert... nor one that is oozing with patience. Caroline, I dont know how you do it!

Today is just an ordinary day at work. I sat with Becky for a while and she showed me how to do the renewals for the Member's (Professional indemnity stuff. Very dull and repetitive). I've also got to set up the interviews for my replacement. I'm kinda annoyed that I wont be interviewing them. I feel really territorial about my job and my desk space etc. But I'm just a lowly secretary so I have no clout whatsoever. In the job I'm moving to, however, I'm not the bottom rung so I can pass all the crap jobs onto Wendy. Wooo hooooo! I've got myself a bitch! Hehehehe.

"Just give it to Wendy, please. She's my bitch!"

Hehe. I like that.

But then again, its just a step up the ladder that I dont want to be on in the first place. The only thing that can get me off is if I jump and hope I dont land too hard in the mess of unemployment below me, or if I pull out my own ladder from my handbag (ie my novel) and set it up myself. It'd be so nice coz I'd be the only one on the ladder and I could climb up or down whenever I wanted, with no ones arse in my face and no ones vulnerable fingers on the rungs below me. Although I'm sure there would be people either side of me trying to push me off.

Enough of this ladder talk. I'm drifting. Perhaps I've had too much chocolate today.

Or not enough.

Party Queen, Living a Life in Luxury!

I'm not sure I am entirely happy with what's written below.. but I do like the part where she received a big fat yearly allowance and lived a lavish life for the rest of her days! (But I would NEVER wear ugly shoes on a date!!!)

Congratulations! You are Anna of Cleves!

Anna of Cleves got the royal shaft. She came all the way to England to become the fourth wife of Henry VIII. Once married to Anna, he refused to consummate the marriage, and called her the "Flanders Mare". Talk about a burn, considering that by this time, Henry was the fattest man in England and had a rotting syphilis sore on his leg.

Anna was miffed, but she was too sensible to let it ruin her fun. She was given an annulment and a fat yearly allowance, and she threw extravagant parties and dined on delicacies for the rest of her life.

Which of Henry VIII's wives are you?
this quiz was made by Lori Fury

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Snow Of Days Past

I love the snow. When I was sorting through my photos today (I'm at home with the sniffles!) I found the pictures of the last week's snow that my darling husband took for me while he was at home with the sniffles. You can see my footprints where I wandered off to go to work.

A Short Snippet Of My Wedding Day

Found this in my computer archives as I was cleaning stuff out. Thought I'd try my hand at posting a video on my blog.

Exerpt From 'Fleeting Life'

Something caught her attention out the corner of her eye and when she turned she was surprised to see a little girl sitting there, staring out across the pond with a sad look on her face. The same hazy quality masked the girl, so Elena assumed she was living and didn’t try to talk to her. She just watched, until the girl turned and spoke.

“Can you help me find my home?” the little girl stared directly at Elena. She checked behind her that the girl wasn’t speaking to someone else. There was no one else there.

“Are you talking to me?” she asked.

The little girl nodded and looked about to cry. “I don’t know how to get home.” She said, her bottom lip quivering.

Elena didn’t know what to do. If this girl was living and was able to see her then who else who was living was able to see her. She was positive that she wasn’t on the living side of the veil. She could feel it.

“Are you lost? Where are your parents?” she asked tentatively.

“I don’t know,” she replied, beginning to sob. “I don’t remember.”

Elena thought a moment. She didn’t quite know how to handle the situation. The child was obviously very upset, but she needed more information to be able to help her.
“Ok, look, I tell you what. If you tell me what your house looks like and everything you remember about it, then perhaps I can help you find it. Does that sound like a good idea?” she asked, as she slid closer to the little girl, putting her hand on her shoulder.

“I don’t know,” sobbed the child, and brought her hands up to her eyes. “I can’t remember anything anymore.”

“Ok, shhhhh… shhh..”She tried to soothe her but the child shook as she wailed.
“Can you tell me your name?”

The little girl looked up at Elena with a sadness in her eyes so profound that she was taken aback a little. It was only when she turned back to look at her the second time that she saw the blood spilling down the side of her face. She hadn’t noticed it before because it was on the girl’s right side, and Elena sat to her left. Instinctively she went to stem the flow but on closer inspection she could see that the wound was more serious than she first thought. No one could survive a blow like this, she thought, and then it hit her.

The little girl hadn’t survived.

She was ghost just like Elena, and she was stuck in the in-between, not knowing where to go or what to do.

“How long have you been here?” she asked, smoothing the girl’s hair. The little girl looked up at her, grateful for the attention, and gradually stopped sobbing.

“I don’t remember,” was all she said.

Elena frowned and held the girl close, soothing her with soft noises and a rocking motion.

“Can you tell me anything that you do remember, sweetheart?” she asked, looking helplessly into the girls eyes.

”Yes. I remember the man,” she said.

“What man?”

“The man with the rock. He was so angry. I keep seeing him all the time and I can’t stop. He’s in my head. He wont go away and I cant get him out.” The girl’s eyes were wide with fright, and Elena was speechless. What could she answer to that?

“Do you see your man?” the little girl asked, reaching up to touch Elena’s bloody hair at the back of her head. It was then that she realised what the girl meant.

“Sometimes, sweetheart, sometimes.” Was all she could say as she hugged her close.

“That’s how it starts” the little girl said, pushing away, “just sometimes, and then its some more. And then you start to forget things, like your Mummy’s name, and then all you can think of is the man. And you can’t get back. And you can’t see anything else but the man, and its really dark.”

Elena sat back, a little frightened at the change in the child. She was speaking with a ferocity in her voice that sent a chill up her spine. “What do you mean, what are you talking about?”

“It means she’s in purgatory,” Scatman’s voice echoed across the park eerily, making Elena jump. She hadn’t heard him approach. He stood behind them in his trench coat, looking domineering, and his usual smile and good-natured demeanour was absent.

Elena stood up and turned towards him. “Purgatory?” she looked down at the child who stared out straight ahead.

“She’s an old ghost, that one. She’s so old she doesn’t even remember who she is anymore. Her hell is being stuck on the wrong side of the veil, wandering around lost with no memory of what she was here for. All that stays in her mind is the man who killed her and she lives that over and over, day after day, year after year.”

Sick As A Dog

I'm at home with the sniffles.

I've been feeling rubbish since Sunday, and annoyingly I'd booked Monday off as holiday! So I went to the doc today and got a note so I can claim back my holiday day, coz I would have stayed home yesterday anyway coz I'm sick.

I hate being sick. It makes sleeping uncomfortable coz you cant breath through your nose. I hate that!

Grumble Grumble.

I saw the funniest thing on Saturday. One of my favourite tv shows is 'You've Been Framed' and there was this funny clip of two blokes in an aeroplane. They must have been strapped in and were doing a loop because the dog in the background (in the aeroplane, and obviously not strapped in) started floating up to the ceiling. It was soooo damn funny. The look on the dogs face was utter confusion. Even now just thinking about it makes me burst out laughing! It really made my day!

Saturday, February 10, 2007

Published by 10 Years Old! WTF????

I watched this show about child geniuses the other night.

One of the little kids, who's about 10 or something, is a published author!!!


And, in my genre. Fantasy.

The cheek of it!!! A little 10 year old, published by the age of 8.

Damn its humiliating.

Oh I'm so depressed!!

Wednesday, February 07, 2007

Looking For Snow

I hear that snowflakes should be tumbling from the sky tomorrow.

I'm definitely looking forward to it. I think I'll always find snow a novelty... except for the cold. My ideal would to have a heap of snow fall and then for it to be really sunny and warm without the snow melting. Hehehe. Its kind of like being able to have chocolate without getting fat.

I want it so badly, but it'll never happen.

I live in hope!

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

Attack of the Killer Migraine

Some complete bastard with a jackhammer is trying to chip away at my skull while the earth's entire collection of bass drums and the timpani troupe are pounding out their lowest and loudest droning note!

Why why why must I get these things!

Its bad enough that I'm just a goddamn secretary with little cash and no publishing credits (yet), but why must I be inflicted with this shite as well!!!

I feel sick.


At least this brain ache has unlocked an idea that will allow me to link up my 'Cloud People' book and my epic Arkehdar novels. Hoorah. I rule.

My head hurts.

Friday, February 02, 2007

The Fragility of Cyberspace

Looks like normality has settled again...

But for how long?


What the hell is going on with blogger?!?!

What are all these stupid error messages about??

I keep running across them at random times. Sometimes I can get past them, but like the other day I couldn't for ages!

I've posted five new posts in the last day or two, but on viewing my blog from typing in my URL directly, none of the posts are showing up!

This post probably wont even turn up either... so it is pointless to contin

Thursday, February 01, 2007

Fiction Contest

The Moon Topples is holding a Short Fiction Contest over at his blog.

You can find it: HERE

I'm Earning More Than My Age!!!!

I'm so pleased about this job opportunity at work!!

They told me what the wage will be and it turns out I'll be earning more than the number of years old I am!! WOOOOO HOOOOOOO!!!

Now.. at this particular point my dream job will come up, offering a significantly less wage. It will definitely happen. Of course it will. Thats the way the cookie crumbles. I will be faced with the biggest dilemma I've ever come across - The new job for lots of money, or the dream job for less money. Hehehehe.

Come on, Dream Job, where are you??? Speak to me! This is the time when you're supposed to show up and turn my life upside down!!!!

Entry Submitted!

I forgot to mention earlier in the week, Monday in fact, that I entered my submission to the Writers & Artists Yearbook Writing Competition.

It required a one page synopsis and the first 10,000 words.

I doubt that I'll win or even get close, as it was the first draft of my Nano novel, and not very good, but at least I've got something sent!

I've put up the first chapter of my Nano novel, Fleeting Life, on my other blog for anyone to peruse and rip to shreds. I havent formatted the blog properly but I eventually will. When I get around to it.

So. Now I must wait. The W&A competition announces winners on 10th April... One day before my birthday!! I wonder if I'll get a nice present for my birthday!!